People I’d like to fight to the death in a steel cage match.

This list was a closely guarded secret until a discussion with my friend, Ronald Smackdonald from, inspired me to go public with my hatred for these ass clowns:

The guy from The Hills – Do I really need to explain this one?

Matthew McConaugay – If you’ve ever seen him act or heard what happens when he opens his mouth, you understand. And no, I didn’t misspell his name, I just think he’s gay–and should put on a shirt.

Jay Onrait – If you’re not familiar with him, he’s the pencil neck geek from TSN who laughs at all his own jokes. No one else is laughing scrotum chin!

Michael Stipe – Too many reasons to list. Namely his bald, penis-like head and whiny fucking voice.

Gord Downie – See Michael Stipe.

Gary Bettman – Hockey in Atlanta and Columbus but not Winnipeg. Are you fucking kidding me?

J.P Ricciardi –The only good thing he’s done for the Jays is listen to his boss’s when he was told to bring Cito back. If only they’d bring back Pat Gillick, too.

Justin Trousersnake – If Michael Jackson weren’t broke, he’d pay someone to beat his ass–ME!

Nickelback – I never bought a single album of their mindless drivel but I still want some change.

Ray Romano – Everybody does not love him.

Andy Roddick – He should stop complaining and actually win something. Until then, he’s just what the last four letters of his last name suggest.

Anyone on a Reality TV Show – Get real.

Kobe Bryant – Do you remember why he bought his wife a $4 million eight-carat purple diamond ring? I do.

Dane Cook – The unfunniest man alive. Not to mention the King of the box office bomb.

Please feel free to send me your list, and if I too don’t feel the love, I’ll post our united front of hatred.

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2 Responses to “People I’d like to fight to the death in a steel cage match.”

  1. Zeph Says:

    P. Diddy- I want to claim I’m best friends with someone who’s dead and then continue to make millions off of them too.

    9 year old kids with “A.D.D.”- Ritalin is not as effective as a crack to the jaw.

    David Beckham- His wife is hot and he sounds like a woman. I am very jealous.

    Larry the Cable Guy- The only thing worse than a redneck is some limp wrist idiot pretending to be a redneck.

    Ethiopian Food- Taste like a Grandpa’s Diaper sandwich.

  2. justme Says:

    Britney Spears – dear god, the things she has taught the children.

    Dr. Phil – grrrr…

    Romance Movies – because i really need to be reminded how much my love life sucks?

    Mario Lopez (a.k.a. Slater) – i remember the date rape incident that got swept under the rug all those years ago, do you?

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