Things I invented but never got around to doing anything about.

“Air quotes”
The Club Sandwich
Riding the pony
The Shocker
Free refills
Balloon animals
The handlebar moustache
Flipping the bird
Pet peeves
Side- and rear-view mirrors
Hassling the Hoff
Party crashing
The Quadruple Sow Cow
Rap video hoes
Going commando
The term ‘mouth hug’
1-800 numbers
Reality TV
Monkey Bars
Frosted tips (please note: I never had any.)
Ultimate Frisbee
The Apple Auto Glass Turning Point
Ironic t-shirts
Playa Hating (Another note: I was the hatee, not the hater.)
Saying Gesundheit after someone sneezes
The four-finger ring
Peeing in the pool/ocean/lake or any other body of water
Fake British accents
Bobble head dolls
The unitard

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4 Responses to “Things I invented but never got around to doing anything about.”

  1. thinkinfyou Says:

    LOL! You really should do something about your laziness. I’m sure tons of these ideas are making killer money.

  2. chowner Says:

    Every time I eat a club sandwich, I cry a little.

  3. Book Calendar Says:

    I am working on my mustache, but it hasn’t quite reached the handlebar stage yet.

  4. chowner Says:

    Don’t fret my friend. The handlebar stage is the toughest part. Have faith and eat plenty of celery and it will happen soon.

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