Ask a Douche Bag with Kriss Angel

Q: I love you Mind Freak. And I love magic–sooooo much. Ever since I was little, I’ve been fascinated by magic. And I’ve totally always wanted to be a magician. At first I was thinking maybe I’d be the legs in the “Saw a woman in half” trick. But my mom always tells me how pretty I am, so now I might want to be the head. I don’t know what to do Mind Freak. How can I make my dream come true and be a magician like you?

–Legs or Head

A: How many fucking times do I have to say this: I’m an illusionist not a fucking magician! Get it straight you unless fucking twat! God, I hate you. I swear, the next person who calls me a magician… I don’t know…
I actually will saw them in half. But for real, not like that bullshit trick you based your stupid life’s dream on.

Fuck off,
Mind Freak

Please send your questions to askadouche@gmail.com

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