Things you’re unlikely to hear at a wine and cheese party.

Pass me an Olde E.
I think this cheese is moldy.
Chug, chug, chug.
’91 was a great year for athlete’s foot.
Is that a unicorn?
The strippers should arrive any minute now.
I’ve got front row tickets to the Monster Truck rally this weekend, you in?
You know, people think it’s a joke, but pimpin’ really ain’t easy.
I’m knocked up so I can only have a few.
Who farted?
I don’t need a glass, the bottle’s fine.
Got any Kraft singles?
I have an above ground pool. Actually, it’s a kiddie pool, but I don’t have any kids, so you know.
In case you’re wondering, yes, I’ve won an eating contest in my time.
Can we watch Rock of Love at 9?
I’m lactose intolerant.
This is my parole officer.
One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war.


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3 Responses to “Things you’re unlikely to hear at a wine and cheese party.”

  1. Jane Doe Says:

    Thanks for the laugh! Your blog is awesome! I’ll be back for more!

    All the best,


  2. Chris Says:

    Show me your tits!

  3. Sean Donland Says:

    My sides hurt from laughter, awesome.

    “This wine is slightly flabby, has a complex bouquet and a creamy finish. Just like my balls.”

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