Non-verbal forms of communication I have found to be ineffective when attempting to meet new people.

The wink and the gun
Sneezing on your hand then closely studying the refuse
Punching an animal
Removing your pants (Note: If you’re not wearing underwear this may result in pointing and laughing)
Motioning your desire to “tap that ass”
Spontaneously breaking into a performance of the gun show
Reading a book you bought with the hope of appearing intellectual upside down
Cupping and smelling your own fart
Miming “you have a nice rack”
Picking your nose and eating it
Slowly unbuttoning your shirt while sensually licking your lips (Note: Exposing and tweaking your nipples adds nothing to this move)
Air humping
Revving the engine of your beater then staling once the light turns green

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8 Responses to “Non-verbal forms of communication I have found to be ineffective when attempting to meet new people.”

  1. John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer Says:

    Air guitar is right out as well.

  2. Venom Says:

    Unless you can back it up with more (a LOT more), flashing a wad of cash is also pretty pointless. (from the female POV anyway).

  3. Christian Says:

    You know what’s funny? If a cute girl did any of those, it would work 60% of the time, all the time.

  4. chowner Says:

    I agree Christian.

    Damn those cute girls and their animal punching.

  5. VE Says:

    The finger going into the circle formed by the other index finger and thumb doesn’t work well either. Nice list!

  6. Sean Donland Says:

    This is a great list, there are a few I haven’t tried yet.

    I might also add, giving two thumbs up while winking with both eyes.

  7. hindleyite Says:

    Heh, Riverdancing. You forgot “smacking them across the head”, though…

  8. Chris Says:

    If I really like a girl I will punch her in the tit. Not hard but its a way that says” hey, I like you enoung to share me space with you”.

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