Conversation starters that come in handy when I want to remind people that I recently won the lottery

“Sorry I’m late but it’s really difficult to find parking for a helicopter around here.”
“Can you break a $1000?”
“You know, you get a really good workout when you’re walking around in solid gold shoes all day.”
“If you’re wondering why I’m so tanned, it’s because I spent the last week on my yacht.”
“Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should name my private jet?”
“I hope you don’t mind, but I brought my personal chef.”
“If anyone’s looking for me next week, I’ll be vacationing on a space shuttle.”
“Hey, I like your model car. I have one just like it – only real.”
“Are you guys watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Cuz you know, I am one.”
“Did someone say lottery? No? Well, since it came up…”

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14 Responses to “Conversation starters that come in handy when I want to remind people that I recently won the lottery”

  1. Mike Says:

    Saying those things after winning a mere lottery worth a few million will be followed by you standing at the unemployment line saying “what happened?”

    Happens all the time. I laugh at such affluent idiots.

  2. Shawn Says:

    I use a lot of these to remind people I was born wealthy and haven’t ever had to work a day in my life.

    Unrelated: I get punched a lot.

  3. Christian Says:

    I would buy really fancy ketchup to eat with my Kraft Dinner.

  4. VE Says:

    Those are good ones. I’d probably tell my current employment management “You know what…if I have to agree with you for one more second…I’ll kill myself!” and then my relatives “Did you know that given enough money you CAN make it so nobody is related to you?” Then I’d write a humor blog…

  5. John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer Says:

    If I won millions of dollars, I wouldn’t talk to people at all. Why? Because I wouldn’t have to.

  6. dani Says:

    If I had a dollar, then I’d buy me a coffee…Oh wait..I need more than that huh ?

  7. Trysh Says:

    I’ve always wanted to do that cake thing where I bring balloons and a cake to my dad at work that says ‘Happy Retirement!!’

    Stumbled

  8. Jenn Thorson Says:

    Singing “Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes” and then showing everybody the shoes? 🙂 Stumbled.

  9. nursemyra Says:

    I have no objections to your personal chef

  10. Matt B (Thanet Star) Says:

    Just the one personal chef? I’d bring my entire personal ontourage.

  11. VE Says:

    Drop me an email at ewelter1 @ comcast.net; I have something for you

  12. ettarose Says:

    If I had won the lottery I would hire Chef Ramsey and call him a fat effin cow for about a week straight. Dumb I know.

  13. josh Says:

    if i won the lottery I would have my wife operated to remove her skin then put horse skin on her .. then I would bang her and when shes pregnant it would look like a horse had a human baby .. awesome !!

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