Parent Teacher Day

MR. WILLIAMS: Mr. and Mrs. … Chown. Your child is… Aaron. Aw, yes, yes, yes. It’s nice to finally meet you.
MOM: Likewise.
MR. WILLIAMS: Your son is, um, a very interesting boy – to say the least.
DAD: We know, he has potential, he’s just not doing anything about it.
MR. WILLIAMS: That’s one way to put it.
DAD: What’s another?
MR. WILLIAMS: Well… I… has anyone else talked to you about him?
MOM: No.
MR. WILLIAMS: Okay then. Here’s the thing. Your son… um… well, he believes he’s a… what’s the term he uses… a Jedi Knight.
MOM: He does have quite an imagination.
MR. WILLIAMS: I agree. He’s a very creative boy. It’s just… well… he, uh, seems to be taking the whole “Jedi” thing quite… literally.

DAD: And?
MR. WILLIAMS: Well Mr. Chown, for starters, he won’t answer to anything but Obi Chown Kenobi.
DAD: (laughs) We know.
MR. WILLIAMS: Very well. Next, there’s the incident following our latest math test.
MOM: Didn’t he get a B+?
MR. WILLIAMS: Well… yes. The thing is, he spent 10 whole minutes after I returned the test waving his hand in front of my face while saying, “You will give me an A”.
DAD: Did you?
MR. WILLIAMS: No. But that’s not the point.
DAD: What is?
MR. WILLIAMS: He does the same thing during recess with the girls, only he tells them to kiss him, or hold his hand.
DAD: That’s it? He’s 11, of course he’s trying to kiss the girls.
MR. WILLIAMS: I understand that.
DAD: Do you?
MR. WILLIAMS: Yes. It’s just the way he goes about it. It’s so… odd. And not at all the type of behavior I encourage from my students.
DAD: (whispers) What’s up your ass?
MR. WILLIAMS: Excuse me?
MOM: He said it’s a Jedi mind trick.
MR. WILLIAMS: Surprisingly, I am well aware of that. And do you know why?
DAD: I’m guessing you’re about to tell us.
MR. WILLIAMS: The theme of Aaron… excuse me, Obi Chown Kenobi’s recent English paper was “The Force”–
DAD: Why do you keep using “air quotes”?
MR. WILLIAMS: (flustered) I don’t… that’s not… whatever… (shuffles some papers) Where was I? Oh yes, his paper. I now know all about what it takes to become a “Jedi… Jedi Master, the abilities of The Force, disturbances in The Force, and that there’s a dark side.
DAD: So you know that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and suffering leads to the dark side?
MR. WILLIAMS: He’s mentioned that to me on numerous occasions – and it was also in his paper.
MOM: So it was an informative paper?
MR. WILLIAMS: Yes… I suppose it was.
MOM: So what’s your concern?
MR. WILLIAMS: …
MOM: Okay. How did you grade it?
MR. WILLIAMS: I haven’t yet decided.
DAD: (Waves his hand in front of Mr. Williams face) You will give him an A.
MOM: (laughs)
MR. WILLIAMS: …

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12 Responses to “Parent Teacher Day”

  1. VE Says:

    And of course we all know that the dark side leads to….skin cancer.

  2. Winky Twinky Says:

    Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… maybe that kid should MIX it up and confuse everyone by wearing those Leah ear buns…I don’t know…

  3. chowner Says:

    VE: So that’s why the Emepror had such terrible skin.

    Winky: That’s a strange suggestion which I’m going to pass on.

  4. renalfailure Says:

    Teacher must be a Trekkie.

  5. Chris@Maugeritaville Says:

    If Mr. Williams were really savvy, he’d have chuckled like Jabba and said, “Your ancient religion will not work on me, young Jedi.”

  6. chowner Says:

    Renal: Ha. So true.

    Chris: The Force is not with him.

  7. thinkinfyou Says:

    I hate how schools don’t applaud children with great imaginations. I think your son will go far!

  8. Jay Says:

    They used to have an actual “Jedi School” in NY, but sadly it went out of business almost quickly as it began. Maybe they should have focused more on recruiting such obviously talented Padawans such as your own.

  9. ettarose Says:

    I think this is too cool. Your son could be using his obvious powers for worse things, like porn. He could be waving something else in their face. How cute the Jedi story is.

  10. chowner Says:

    Thinkinfyou: Schools don’t understand imagination anymore. Luckily, the Force is strong with this one.

    Jay: He would have excelled there.

    Etta: Though the dark side is tempting, he hasn’t strayed.

  11. John J Savo Says:

    LOL. Is this a look into the future for you and your new son?

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