Y.E. Yang needs a new interpreter

Yang became the first Asian-born player to win a major Sunday with a stunning performance in the PGA Championship, memorable as much for his clutch shots as the player he beat: The mighty Tiger Woods.

-Associated Press

First and foremost, I do not want to thank God. My life is complete without him and everything I do is in no way because of him.

Second, I would like to say to my wife and family, I probably would have been standing in this place many more times, and had many more trophies, had it not been for you. You have never been there for me. In this moment, the greatest of my life, I want you to know that you mean nothing to me.

Next, I would like to acknowledge the PGA Tour. I’m not really sure why. I guess because I just won your tournament. Plus, my agent said I should. Also, if you didn’t have all those rich sponsors coming out of your behind, I wouldn’t be getting a big cheque from you. So, yes! I’m rich.

Finally, I must say a few things to my opponent today: The Tiger. I took great pleasure in hunting you down. Though the challenge was less than I expected, as you appeared a bit lame at times. I guess I am the thorn to your paw.

This victory over you will be very well received back home in Korea, where, you should know, we eat tigers for breakfast. Lunch and dinner, too. In fact, they are now on the endangered species list. And, judging from the way you putted today, soon you will be too.

I will now take my trophy and winnings and proceed to party like Kim Jong Il after learning he had access to nuclear power.

No thank you all very much.

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2 Responses to “Y.E. Yang needs a new interpreter”

  1. quirkyloon Says:

    I think you are ripe and ready to become THE number one translator! Thank-you for helping me to understand.

    And I’m glad they ate tigers…they are mean to humans.

    heh heh

  2. VE Says:

    But what about Tony the Tiger? Now he’s the real deal…

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