Recovering meataholic seeks meat-lover to watch eat

Simply put: I want to watch you eat.

I am a recovering meataholic who up until 1 week ago ate meat everyday resulting in extremely high blood pressure, endometrosis and orders from my doctor to “stop eating red meat immediately unless you want go out like Elvis.” I’m looking for a fellow meat lover who will allow me to watch them eat while describing every bite in detail.

If you’re after a long-term relationship/friendship, please look elsewhere. I’m literally only interested in hearing what your meal tastes like. In between bites, if we must talk, I’m into baseball, Conservative bashing, reality TV and juggs. Bottom line: As long as large pieces of red meat are a mainstay in your diet, we can make it work.

Applicant must be available minimum of 4 days a week and be open to input on my behalf as to their meal choice. Lunch and dinner are preferred. Brunch is acceptable as long as bacon, sausage and/or ham are the pre-dominant portion of the meal. Please note: Cobb salad, Caesar salad with chicken or any other salad with meat on top is a strict no-go.

Must be okay with being filmed while eating. This will not be shared online or with other people. It is solely for my purpose so that, should I wake in the middle of the night following a food dream, I can re-live a meat-based meal instead of running to the nearest Burger Kind to devour a double Whopper and thereby risk my life.

Preference will be given to applicants who do not finish their meal and do not want to take leftovers home. Must not pass judgment when I then take the uneaten food, chewing it lovingly and, then, with sadness and regret, spit it out.

Applicant must understand that drinks and/or a movie will not follow the meal. Nor will a ride home or an invitation to go out/come upstairs for a coffee be forthcoming.

Need to inform me ahead of time in regards to holiday travel plans. Invites to family gatherings are welcome.

I look forward to watching you eat.

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