Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honour to introduce to you tonight’s opening act. You know him from the small screen, the silver screen, the many magazine covers he has graced, well, I could go on but you’d rather listen to him than me, so I won’t.
Now before I bring him out, there are a few ground rules I need to go over with you first. So please listen closely as these are important to both your safety and chances of you being able to view his show in its entirety.
First, and most important, please fill out and sign the release form you found waiting on your seats. Anyone who does not will be asked to leave the theatre immediately as we cannot be held responsible for what takes place during the show.
Great. I’m glad so many of you chose to stay.