GOD: Happy Easter son.
JESUS: Yeah. Thanks.
GOD: Is everything okay?
JESUS: I guess.
GOD: Come on, you can tell your old man. Is this about dying a virgin?
JESUS: What!?! No.
GOD: So… what’s going on? This should be a happy day. The world is celebrating your resurrection.
JESUS: Are they? Look at them. They don’t worship me anymore. Nobody observes Lent nowadays. People just want to eat, drink and sin.
GOD: That’s not true. Look… look at those people. I’ve been watching closely and they’ve been fasting for over a week.
JESUS: They’re homeless.
GOD: Ok then… uh… over there. That whole building is filled with people who have given up pleasures of the flesh.
JESUS: It’s a school.
JESUS: They’re kids.
GOD: Hey, abstinence is abstinence.
GOD: Alright, tell me this: How many people wear a gold plated tribute to you around their neck?
JESUS: A few. I guess.
GOD: A few… a few… try a few million.
JESUS: More like a few hundred million. But who’s counting?
GOD: That’s more like it. And tell me this? When they’re born again, who do they say they’ve found?
GOD: And when they pray, whom do they pray to?
GOD: Plus, last time I checked, they still eat your body and drink your blood.
JESUS: Thanks Dad.
GOD: No problem, son.
JESUS: Hey, you wanna go turn some water into wine? It’ll be just like old times.
GOD: It wouldn’t be Easter if we didn’t.